Independence: Are You “All In”?

michelle-rodriguez-sends-the-fast-and-furious-6-crew-on-a-wild-chase-in-latest-trailerA friend of mine recently ask me to define “Ride or Die”. I had to pause for a moment…

I was prepared to acknowledge that perhaps my friend had not experienced “ride or die” love or friendship. I was not prepared for the phrase to need defining. It seemed pretty self explanatory to me, especially in the context of love and friendship (which is nearly the same thing). For the sake of argument I will define it in the context of love. Most of us are striving for that experience.

What do you believe in?

What do you believe in?

The good news is, you don’t have to wait to meet that “special someone” to experience it for yourself. Here is why:

“Ride or Die” is by definition, being “all in”. “All in” is exactly that; all, whole, 100%, no questions asked. But, here is the secret no one tells you. Before you can be “ride or die” with another person, you must first be “all in” with yourself. That is the absolute HARDEST part of it. It requires a level of commitment, dedication, loyalty, faithfulness, and TRUST in one’s self. “Ride or die” demands it. It is committing to yourself the way you wish to be loved.

Anyone who has been around me long enough has heard my little nugget of hard earned wisdom so many times it inspires eye rolling in some:

Pretty sure Lucy is 100% down with Lucy.

Pretty sure Lucy is 100% down with Lucy.

You can not give what you do not have. You can not teach what you do not know.

Another truth that comes with that when in the context of love is this:

You can not love outwardly if you can not love inwardly. Because you are the source. If you love yourself with restrictions, you will love others with the same restrictions.

What does it mean to “ride”? What is the “ride”? Simply, the ride is the “thing”, as in “let’s do this thing”. If your “thing” is you, then engage in what you are about and hold on because you’re about to do it 100%. No matter how frightening or terrifying the ride may appear, you get on that ride and see it through to its outcome. Do this because the truth is more important than the fear of failure. Do this with full disclosure that there will be hardships, obstacles, problems, variables to be negotiated, and rejections…but you ride. Do this because the value of; learning, loving, experiencing, living a life authentic to see where it takes you, realizing your purpose, no regrets, connecting, expanding, and pushing yourself to your fullest potential is more important than conforming to an ill fitting life in the hopes that is safer. You ride because if you don’t…

…you Die”

Moss was "all in" with Trinity's "ride or die" attitude.

Moss was “all in” with Trinity’s “ride or die” attitude.

Even if all that means is a life unrealized, or only half lived, it is the same as dying to a passionate person. Having a nagging knowledge that there is more to life than what you are living is the same as dying. You can’t travel at high speeds of knowledge only half in, cowering at your insecurities. Insecurities, even if they are born from the best intentions, is how accidents happen. Or nothing happens and your soul dies.

Learn how to “ride or die” with yourself first, then you will be a much better partner, a safer partner, to “ride or die” with someone else.

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