My 11yr old has been relentless about wanting me to blog about this song. Most of the time I would find a way of politely getting out of indulging tweenager music. However, in this case, I believe she is on to something.
Often times as we drive down the road my girls are begging me to please turn down the music (bit of irony). This is one of the few songs which we all agree needs to be cranked the heck up!!! It is almost a shame it can’t be added to to our genetic code. My daughters are big supporters of the anti-bullying programs available to the youth in our community. I believe the lyrics hold the anti-virus to the epidemic.
If we could all just start learning to speak up for ourselves when we are young, loving ourselves, and believing in our own self-worth it seems there would be fewer victims. Bullies, who choose to grow into abusers, would have fewer targets. In fact, maybe we would find ourselves with fewer bullies too. I love how profound these words are:
“You can be the outcast or be the backlash of somebody’s lack of love…Or you can start speaking up…”
This is really the truth of the matter isn’t it? How much do we keep to ourselves out of fear that we won’t be loved if we are already starting out in deficit? Bullies can lash out in pain because of the lack of love that they have been exposed to. Their victims will shrink from assertiveness for the same reasons. Or… everyone can start speaking up.
Being a victim in any context is a choice. Being a bully in any context is a choice. Being a victim is not relegated to just Domestic Abuse. We can be social, political, and religious victims as well. We can be victims in our family of origin. Being a victim is a state of mind. This is why self-love is so important. Being brave in the face of our fear of rejection is probably the greatest challenge and show of self-esteem. It takes tremendous courage to be honest about what we think and feel in the face of exclusion. We should enthusiastically support those who rise to the occasion.
In doing so we challenge bullies and abusers to find an alternative to dealing with their insecurities. We ask them to face their life experience in a way that doesn’t bring harm or hurt to others. But most of all, we show them that it is not okay to control others with fear.
It is never too late to start being brave. Every moment is a new moment. You don’t have to wait for tomorrow:
“Maybe there is a way out of the cage where you live…
Maybe one of these days you can let the light in…”
One of the hardest parts about learning to stand up for one’s self is knowing “how”. How is just being honest about what you think and how you feel. “When”, is another component. There never seems to be a good time to start a new diet, a new exercise program, or new routine of any kind. Yet, how many times do we catch ourselves saying, “Why didn’t I do this sooner?” or ” I am so glad that I finally did this” after we start seeing results? The beautiful thing about loving yourself is every day is filled with opportunities all day long. Start as soon as possible. Just:
“…Say what you wanna say, and let the words fall out…”
This is dedicated to you Kait, my Brave girl!