Jenn’s Story: Part II: Searching for Clues: A

Part II In Two Parts A & B

I am certain that there are far more clues and “red flags” in the evolution of this relationship than I am able to point out. For the purpose of this exercise I can only work with what has been printed. So let us sleuth…

After a couple of weeks, I started to stay the night at his house. I’d show up Sundays after my shift ended (near 2hr drive put me at his place 1230am or so.)

Color me all kinds of crazy but, so far, I have read that Jenn has been more than accommodating for this guy. Unless she is intentionally leaving out that he is also rearranging his life, inconveniencing himself, and making sacrifices to get to know her, this is appearing pretty one-sided. Pay attention to this ladies. We tend to overlook this in the beginning of relationships for many reasons; socialization, religious beliefs, personal beliefs, upbringing, etc. We find all kinds of reasons to rationalize and minimize why we are doing most of the compromising.

After another few weeks, and a few “close calls” at work, he expressed grave concern for my welfare and asked me to get a job not only closer to home, but safer and easier on his mental health. How sweet, right?

No. Not really. But I would agree that it was selfish. As just mentioned Jenn is the one doing most of the long distance driving; spending money on gas, putting the wear on her car, and loosing sleep that clearly her job doesn’t allow a lot of time for. I am sure she wasn’t getting a whole lot of the latter being with Mr. Smith either. In the beginning of relationships we rarely do. But that isn’t the focus here. He isn’t concerned for her mental health, he wants her to change jobs for his mental health. Hold the phone. What?!

This is why formal education on this topic is so important. As soon as, not a moment later, I hear that from a guy, especially coupled with the rest of the attitudes, I am done. This is not a man who is ever going to buy me flowers, unless he wants something from me or maybe because he is apologizing for putting me in the hospital. There are always the select few who suck with their communication skills and don’t turn out to be abusers, but the odds are not in their favor. I don’t have enough lifetime to wade through those odds. Next please…

Mr. Smith is luring Jenn down the rabbit hole by telling her that her job is causing him pain (making it her fault) and that if she cares about him she is now obligated to meet his needs. Savvy? And of course Jenn cares…she has a heart as big as Texas…love you sis.

Now I had stickers on my car. Contractors ID in my wallet, I was good to go. No more passes and him retrieving me from the gate. By this point, all the civilian guards at the base got to know me quite well. Even “looking the other way” when they knew I had stayed overnight on the base. Now, here is where things start to get tricky.

“…things [started] to get tricky.” a long time ago…here is where the downward spiral into Wonderland starts to tighten. Mr. Smith now has Jenn feeling great because she is legit to some degree. To the other degree they are partners in thrilling crime with her sneaking on and off the base with people looking the other way. He has her feeling pretty special. But, upon closer inspection, who is taking all of the risk? With blinders on it is full speed ahead…

Do you see how mysterious and beautiful chaos can appear?

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