Day 154/730: Transitional Program

Someday, Our Sons Will Be Men

Among all of the many important things that are stressed in this program, is the point that many of us are women raising boys to be men. I know this may seem like an such an obvious observation that it shouldn’t even bear remark or notice, but there is a subtle message in this with a huge impact.

Change is a painful evolution for most of us. There is in actual, detectable cycle that can be observed and explained during this process. One of the obvious and noticeable steps to change is anger. All of us, at some point, are so angry about our situation we could spit fire on command. Who wouldn’t if one had their rights violently violated then had to pay a severe penalty for someone else’s poor choices (IE loss of: housing, transportation, money, jobs, children, and any combination there of). So hating men and speaking ill of them is a natural effect to the cause.

The only problem with what would otherwise be a somewhat healthy purging step, is that many of us are raising boys. These boys are young and impressionable. They hear and process everything. In the process of processing, there can be and most often is, a great lack of understanding about what they are hearing from their mothers. They take it personally. It is in this impressionable time that the self-esteem can take a real beating.

Women, mothers, I know how painful and disillusioning it is to be wronged in the most intimate and coercive way, but we must consider our boys. Many of us are still holding out with hope that there are kind and gentle men out there with enough maturity to look past the results of our tumultuous past. We are putting faith in a higher being that there will be a man out there for each of us who will deserve for us to sing his praises…or for those of us shy of singing will have earned us to play “In Praise Of The Vulnerable Man” (by Alanis of course…did you really think it would be anyone else with me being the author?)

In the mean time… if not for us, then for the generations still coming into adulthood, let us raise the men that we are anticipating. Let us set aside our hate, or at least try fervently not to foist it on our sons, having them take on our burden, and raise them to be the “Vulnerable Man”. There is great joy in such an achievement. There is great and optimistic change for the future when that can be achieved. Help them to see the value in expressing these virtues. Raise them to believe that the following attributes are virtues and we will help in reigning in a kinder, gentler, and more mature generation of “real” men. I would be so proud if someday a woman felt this way about either of my sons.

“In Praise Of The Vulnerable Man”

You are the bravest man I’ve ever met
You unreluctant at treacherous ledgeYou are the sexiest man I’ve ever been with
You, never hotter than with armor spentWhen you do what you do to provide
How you land in the soft as you fortify

This is in praise of the vulnerable man
Why won’t you lead the rest of your cavalry home

You, with your eyes mix strength with abandon
You with your new kind of heroism

And I bow and I bow down to you
To the grace that it takes to melt on through

This is in praise of the vulnerable man
Why won’t you lead the rest of your cavalry home
This is a thank you for letting me in
Indeed in praise of the vulnerable man

You are the greatest man I’ve ever met
You the stealth setter of new precedents

And I vow and I vow to be true
And I vow and I vow to not take advantage

This is in praise of the vulnerable man
Why won’t you lead the rest of your cavalry home
This is a thank you for letting me in
Indeed in praise of the vulnerable man

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